I’d like to open up to you a little, if I may.
I enjoy reading other people’s light-hearted take on life. I have a finely tuned eye for the ridiculous, and I love to laugh out loud.
Yet somehow, when I write, I want to say something meaningful. I want to be thought-provoking or inspiring or to share something truly important. I guess that what I’m learning to accept about myself is that I am ambitious.
Ambitious is not an adjective that I ever would have thought to apply to myself. In the past, other people have used it to describe me, and I have been flabbergasted. What? Little old me, ambitious? I couldn’t see it. But now I see that I want to live large and be extraordinary, and I shouldn’t feel the need to apologise for that.
And so this blog means more to me than ever, as a place that I can experiment with engaging with you through my writing. For whatever reason, I feel that I can be honest with you, my dear readers. I feel that you are a supportive, encouraging bunch. And so I’d love to share a little bit with you about what Good Friday means to me this year.
I shared earlier in the year that I was planning to work on my spiritual health this year. I also shared that as part of my journey I had visited a new church.
Let’s learn a little bit more about my personal history, shall we?
I grew up going to Sunday School. In due time, I made a personal Christian commitment and was confirmed. Through my teens and early adulthood I was an active member of youth fellowship groups and Bible studies, attending a number of camps and events. When Chris and I got married and moved away from the city that we grew up in, we searched for a church that would be our new spiritual home.
As a young adult, my Christian faith was strong and I was idealistic. I knew that I was sure about what I believed.
Then life happened.
I got older and saw more of the world and had a variety of experiences. I became a parent and lost people that I loved and battled cancer. I met lots of different people from many walks of life. I questioned and thought and struggled with my faith.
For the last ten years my family has been attending a local church. A church full of wonderful people whom I love. But I’ll be honest with you, my faith hasn’t grown. In fact from time to time I’ve wondered if I’m still a Christian at all.
At the beginning of the year I decided it was time to shake things up a bit. And my wonderful husband and kids have been so very supportive and flexible and have left a church in which they knew people and felt comfortable to go somewhere completely new.
The good news is, we’re enjoying our new church. And now that we’ve been attending regularly since the beginning of the year, I’m starting to feel like I can actually say it out loud – this is our new church. This is where we go now.
The kids are happy. Josh has already been on a camp and had a great time. Alana has made friends at the youth group and will be going on a camp during the holidays.
Chris is happy. He likes being at a church that has strong leadership and direction. As for me, I’m feeling refreshed and empowered. I’m continuing to wrestle with my doubts and am feeling like I’m making progress.
So happy Easter to you all. I hope you’re enjoying the time off work and the opportunity to relax and spend time with family and friends. And if you’re a Christian, I hope that Easter gives you the opportunity to reflect on your faith.